The Face Licker

You know what day it is, here's your Date Night Friday treat- warning, it's an unsettling tale!

Probably the most awkward is because it was - no, it IS - so disturbing.

I was 16... I met this guy - let's call him Steve - when I was out with friends. I think we were at the mall. Anyway, we ended up exchanging phone numbers and a few days later decided to go on a date. So the plan was that I was going to drive to his house (his mom wanted to meet me first) and then he would drive us to dinner and then I'd drive myself home after.

Everything was going fine until we got to the restaurant and it was closed. So instead of just picking another restaurant, he said "Let's go visit my friends." Weird, but I went along with it. He drove an old pickup truck with bench seats and somewhere along the way to his friend's house, he INSISTED that I scoot to the middle. The conversation was pretty typical teenager high school stuff, getting to know each other but then he asked me if I was a virgin. Woah.

"Oh, well... Is it going to bother you if I'm not?"
"Cool. Yeah, I actually lost my virginity when I was 12. But not like how you would think."

What? Like how I would think? It wasn't a conversation I even wanted to have, and I realized he was baiting me into asking him how, but he didn't even wait for me to say it.

"The first time I had sex was with a guy."

I don't remember how old he said the guy was, but it wasn't another 12 year old... It was a man; an adult man. So he goes on to tell me details about it (like I even wanted to know) and I'm just sitting there thinking, "How the hell do I get out of here?" I sort of laughed uncomfortably at the parts where he laughed and "Mmmhmm"-ed and nodded through his story, pretending like it wasn't weird at all to hear someone describe the girth of their penis as being the size of the cardboard from a roll of toilet paper. Then it happened. He hit a red light at the same time his story ended. We sat in awkward silence for a few moments until, in the swiftest of movements, he actually licked the side of my face. I remember moving away and wiping my face in utter disgust and looking at him like he just insulted my grandmother.

"What the hell was that?!"
"Kiss me!"

So not only am I 16 years old, listening to my date describe his first love without realizing he was molested, but now he's all turned on by it and trying to take it out on me. It was so twisted. This guy seriously believed that what happened to him was okay. I could've handled dating a guy who was bi-sexual I guess, but not someone who thinks it's normal and loving for grown men to have sex with 12 year old boys. I scooted back to the passenger seat and said I wouldn't kiss him while he was driving. We got to his friend's house and I didn't say a word. Eventually, after what seemed like the longest night of my life, he drove me back to his house. I got in my car, left, and never looked back. I was not able to process what he had told me, not nearly mature enough to explain to him how I felt about his story. I think back on that night and get the same heebie jeebies now that I did back then.

This tale of dating terror comes from Mary Beth, 27, Long Beach, CA

If you have a dating disaster to share, email me


  1. Oh man.. How horrible! Poor thing.

  2. I would fake my own death to get out of that car.


So happy you stopped by Bundts of Steel- I love reading your comments, so keep them coming!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...