Katsuyagate 2012

To Whom It May Concern,

On June 29th I emailed your company regarding an unsavory meal I ate at your restaurant. Sadly, I have not heard back and that really hurts my feelings. 

I was always taught that you can never be wrong when you state your feelings. I stated my feelings to you and I feel wronged. Wronged by the lack of communication on your part. Wronged by the fact that I still have nightmares about the couple I mentioned in my previous email. Wronged that I had plans to become a valued customer, a regular if you will, but now can't because the lack of effort on your part. Wronged, wronged, wronged. 

I'm not asking for anything on your side except an "Ugh, that sounds awful! So sorry you had to endure that. Don't lose faith in us."And I wouldn't have lost faith in you. I would have come back and I would have kept coming back until everyone shouted my name upon my entrance like Norm(!) when he walked into Cheers. 

By the way, remember how I told you about our Night of Beauty (Doody), well, the gift bags turned out to be not so horrible. I mean, they weren't amazing by any means, but there were a few surprises thrown in that I wouldn't have expected like Philosophy's Hope in a Jar, a gift certificate to a nail place in Brentwood, some weird facial cleansing bar that I've been using and have to admit, I kind of like it. I don't remember what it's called. I was supposed to bring in the packaging into work today so I could Google it, but I forgot to. You know how mornings are. If I remember to bring the information tomorrow, I'll email it to you. Sometimes it feels like my skin is working against me, so I really respect a cleanser that removes dead skin cells while also penetrating deep into my pores to get that dirt to hit the road. 

In conclusion, just acknowledge me. I refuse to be the girl you make out with behind the school but won't say hi to me in the hallway. Remember those commercials in the 80's where a homely little girl wanted boys to like her so she drank her milk and grew up to be hot and the object for men's attention? That's going to be me! I'm the girl who is going to drink milk and you're going to be the boys who want my attention. But, I'm not going to give it to you. You're going to see me at Sugarfish or Hamasaku and be all like, "Dang!!!! Why isn't she our customer?" And I'll be all like, "It's too late boys. Deal with it." Ohhhhh...snap!

Best,

Carly

An hour later, I received this email from Katsuya Brentwood

Hi Ms. Eskin,

I never received a email from that date from you. I'm sorry that your frustrated that nobody got back to you as well. 

Sorry that your meal was unsavory....and that your feelings are hurt that we didn't respond....
What was the problem with the meal?

Grammar annoyances aside...What?????? That's all you have to say? And you claim to not have received my original email? Something smells fishy and I'm sure it's more than the Blue Crab Roll we had to send back. So, of course, I forwarded the original email. 

The next day I received this:

Ms Eskin

Thank you for reaching out and letting us know.
That usually does not, or ever occur in the restaurant. 
Sorry that nobody responded as well.

Well guess what Ms. Brentwood Katsuya? You suck! I don't care that after my Facebook stalking of you all I could see on your profile was that you list Katsuya as a place of employment and that you supposedly are in a relationship as of May 31, 2012. What about our relationship? And what's up with "That usually does not, or ever occur in the restaurant". What does that even mean? You're an odd bird. You don't even sign your emails. I don't know why that bothers me, but it does. In your face! 

And for all you children of the 80's...enjoy: